5 Things I learned about MY HEALING JOURNEY.
Let's Talk about Healing….
When starting my HEALING Journey, I initially thought I'd be cured of my past in a blink of an eye, and it will be a smooth process. But, whew, was I wrong, I realized healing was very painful and ugly.
Some days would be great, and others, I would just cry and beat myself up because I thought I had already healed from the pain. However, I soon realized that healing is a process that comes with ups and downs.
Healing is not linear.
Here is What I learned about MY HEALING JOURNEY.....
1. TO HEAL, YOU NEED TO FEEL
I was the type of person who didn't like emotions or being vulnerable. My childhood played a role in the idea that my feelings aren't valid or need to be acknowledged because there were still things that needed to get done. I went years suppressing my feelings until it caught up to me. In my senior year of high school, I was in and out of the hospital thinking it was my asthma, but later it was determined I had anxiety. The years of suppressing my emotions and feelings led to the decline of my physical health. I went years with sleep apnea and panic attacks.
The problem was this wasn't even the moment I realized I needed to start healing. Fast forward to my senior year of college. On top of my anxiety, I was dealing with depression. I couldn't get out of bed; I felt numb, the things I used to enjoy no longer brought me joy. This was my breaking point. I remember crying so hard in my car, feeling broken, and that's when I knew I needed help.
At that moment, I immediately scheduled an appointment to see a therapist, and I've been on my healing journey ever since.
I realized that I was only hurting myself by keeping everything in and suppressing my emotions. Recognizing that my emotions weren't wrong or Bad but helping me understand how I feel about a specific situation changed how I viewed my emotions.
Although they were uncomfortable, remembering that they weren't here to harm me.
To start healing, I needed to accept myself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. This required me to be vulnerable with myself to reach my authentic self.
2. HEALING IS NOT LINEAR
What I've realized in my healing journeys is that one day you may feel like you're over something, and then the next day, that same thing will make you cry. Now I'm questioning whether I'm actually healing or not, whether this journey is actually worth it. I thought I was supposed to be healed by now.
The most important thing to remember when starting your healing journey is that there is no time stamp to your healing. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but the most important thing is that you are taking the initiative to grow.
Growth is not linear; you may go back to what you were used to, then you may go forward give yourself grace when dealing with yourself and your healing journey.
For example, I would be ready to start healing and facing my difficult emotions, and then I realized how uncomfortable it is. Then I realized how much I thrived in pain and how healing was just uncomfortable. I was comfortable in my pain. At least I knew what I was getting into when sitting in my pain. However, I learned to grow, I had to lean into my discomfort, and of course, it took time, but I had to give myself grace.
3. HEALING IS UGLY BUT WORTH IT
Healing may sound scary because you are choosing to face your pain head-on. The truth is you can either heal now or deal with it later. But dealing with it later will require more work and more layers to unpeel. You can't escape the pain; you have to face it.
I've learned who I am in this healing journey, not the person I wanted people to see but who I am to my core. I saw my strengths and weaknesses, found my purpose, did the things that made me happy, learned how to set boundaries, and so much more.
I could hear God for myself, build a genuine relationship with him, and not subscribe to what I was taught God is, but who God showed me he was. To be honest, some of my pain came from feeling like God hated me, but through healing, I could see a side of God I'd never seen before. I was able to make sense of the hurt and the pain. I often felt like God allowed terrible things to happen to me, not realizing that I needed to shift my perspective. The things that had happened have worked together for my good.
" And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
For me forgiving others is easy; it just comes naturally. However, forgiving myself is something I found difficult. I felt undeserving of grace and forgiveness. Honestly, this is something I'm still working on. Giving myself grace when I mess up and realizing that it is okay to mess up. My failures do not define me.
5. LET GO
As much as you want to be angry and hold on to that pain, the reality of it is that holding on to those things only adds weight/ baggage to your healing journey. It takes a toll on you; free yourself from the pain.
The part that I find most challenging when letting go is feeling like the loser when someone hurts me. How can people treat me a certain way, but I'm the one left with the scars, and they can go on with their lives. Now I'm stuck patching up my wounds. But to be honest, it has been a learning lesson because I can now walk away knowing what I will and won't accept, setting boundaries, learning to say no. I gained more than what I thought I had lost. I will no longer allow someone to retake parts of me. Shifting my perspective allowed me to let go.
Another tool that has helped me release and let go is journaling. I started journaling 3 years ago, and it has helped me track my growth to see how far I've really come and allow my emotions and thoughts to flow onto paper without judgment.
Start your healing journey with our Healing Journals.
PHYSICAL HEALING JOURNAL DIGITAL HEALING JOURNAL
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