HOW TO SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF PT 1

On the other hand, it may seem like everywhere you turn, someone is telling you how you're supposed to live your life or that you're not enough. It may feel overwhelming and sometimes even seem impossible to start working through the myriad of problems you face inside and outside yourself. But if this resonates with you, I want to encourage you to pause for a moment and realize that you hold the pen to your own story, and here are some ways you can start showing up for yourself.

1.GIVE YOURSELF GRACE

I don't know about you, but I was taught to constantly push myself for most of my life. This led me to ignore the parts of me that needed to be embraced. For so long, I identified as the STRONG BLACK WOMAN, but that only left me constantly criticizing myself and giving me no room for mistakes and grace. I knew I had to start showing up for my authentic self and to do that, I had to, first, start giving myself grace.

Here are things to consider when giving yourself grace:

• Forgiving Yourself 
• Stop Apologizing for being you
• Speak gently to yourself
• Don't be ashamed of your mistakes
• Accept the things you cannot control and release it
• Validate your feelings
• Use Compassionate Accountability to hold yourself responsible in a gentle way
• Identify your negative limiting beliefs about yourself

   2. LISTEN TO YOUR NEEDS

When showing up for yourself, it's important to be aware of your needs. And I mean, really understand what you need and try not to judge your needs. Stop telling yourself you don't need rest because you didn't do much that day. Rest is a necessity and not something earned. Be okay with not justifying your needs. (Or be okay with not having to justify your needs)

Here are things to consider when listening to your needs

• Speak up when things are bothering you/ be your own advocate
• Check-in with yourself daily
• Find and apply healthy coping mechanisms
• Love on you ( this looks different for each person)
• Be open to discovering new ways to meet your needs
• Take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs
• Learn to ask for help

3. OWN YOUR STORY & LOVE YOURSELF THROUGH THE PROCESS

WATCH HERE FOR MORE ABOUT OWNING YOUR STORY

To truly show up for yourself, you have to own who you are and let go of the person people have painted you. For such a long time, I was allowing the opinions and thoughts of others to influence the decisions I made for myself. Finally, I decided one day to cancel the noise of everything that didn't align with the story I wanted to tell. I'm still a work in progress, but I knew it was time to start writing my own story and loving myself through this process.

 

Here are some ways to start owning your story

• Stop worrying about what others think about you
• See the value in your efforts even if the outcome isn't what you expected
• Stop people pleasing
• Stop minimizing yourself to please others
• Start trusting yourself and your abilities
• Be your own cheerleader
• Create your own narrative and stop trying to fall into the narrative others have created for you.
• Learn to rest, not quit

4. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO……

You are allowed to give yourself permission to be you and do you the way that you want and need. It's time to be your authentic self without any guilt or shame. 

 

Give yourself permission to:

• Be the boss of you
• Express yourself the way that's best for you
• You are allowed to change your mind
• You don't have to do more than you can handle
• Allow yourself to feel without labeling it as wrong, bad, or negative
• Live in your truth ( whatever that looks like to you)
• Observe your thoughts without identifying with them
• Let go of things you can't control
• Start again, over and over, as often as you need

5. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY

Say it with me "I will no longer feel bad for being selfish and putting myself first" There is this quote that says, "I can't be anything to anyone if I am nothing to myself."

 That quote stuck with me because I used to always pour from an empty cup, always giving my time, things, and support to others, but not giving my time and support to myself. I would sacrifice everything for others, not realizing I wasn't being selfless; I was people pleasing. Now I'm on a journey to always make myself a priority.

 Here is what I've learned :

• Consistently Advocate for yourself
• Protect your peace
• Let go of things that are no longer serving you
• You are allowed to fulfill your wants while also fulfilling your needs
• Stop minimizing yourself to please others
• Stop saying yes when you want to say no

 

 How will you start Showing Up For Yourself Today? Today is the day to Stop Shrinking Yourself and Start Showing Up For Your Most Authentic Self!

 

 Stay tuned for Part 2 of Showing Up For Yourself, where I get into more of what Showing Up For Yourself Looks Like