YOU ARE DOING SELF CARE WRONG | SELF CARE TIPS

If you are like me and get wrapped up in what self-care looks like, you are doing self-care wrong. 

During my much-needed mental health break, I was thinking…

What if the self-care we think is self-care isn't really what our body is asking of us…

Let me ask you a question?

When you close your eyes, what do you see when you think of self-care? 

If you picture shopping trips, bubble baths, getting your hair done, nails done, or the expensive vacations, you are not alone. Self Care has become more of an aesthetic and emptying your pockets.

Social Media has made us get tied up with the aesthetics of self-care, and honestly, some of us may not even have the funds to partake in society's idea of self-care.

Don't get me wrong. Nothing is wrong with treating yourself. Let me explain…

My self-care routine consisted of bubble baths, lighting a candle, and using my diffuser with my essential oil to help keep me relaxed. 

But, as peaceful as that sounds, I ignored what my body needed. 

I was getting wrapped up with the aesthetics of self-care and not actually listening to what I truly needed. 

This was when I realized I was doing self-care wrong.

So, what is self-care? Self-care is the active process of making your body and mind a pleasant place to inhabit by filling your cup up first before giving it to others.

Self-care looks different for different people. It's time to stop 

getting wrapped up with the aesthetics of self-care and actually listening to what you truly need. 

So, here are 5 ways to start doing self-care the right way….

 

1.GETTING WRAPPED UP WITH THE AESTHETICS OF SELF CARE

 

 

When we look on social media and see retail therapy, getting your nails done, bubble baths, buying flowers, and lighting candles, this is what we see as self-care.

Nothing is wrong with these things, but it becomes detrimental when you focus on the aesthetics rather than listening to what your body needs.

Before you partake in the aesthetics of self-care, ask yourself, "am I prioritizing my physical, spiritual, or emotional wellness."

That dress will not give you the rest your body needs.

Lighting that candle will not help you with your spiritual health if that's not what your spirit needs at the time.

Listen to your body. When your body is screaming for rest. Listen to your spirit. When your spirit is screaming for it to be filled. Listen to your emotions. When your emotions are screaming to be heard and felt.

 2. DON’T WAIT TILL YOUR BODY FORCES YOU TO LISTEN

Let me use myself as an example. I knew I was physically exhausted for the past few weeks, but I also knew I had things to do. So I felt like I did not deserve rest because I was not where I wanted to be.

 

I was telling myself I only deserved rest if I achieved x,y, and z.

 

I kept pushing myself even though I was exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. Then, of course, my body did the talking. I was getting headaches, I was nauseated, I felt lightheaded, and Even my organs were hurting because I was choosing work over rest.

 

Because I ignored my body, my body forced me to take a week off. As a result, I was in constant pain and couldn't even function at work. 

 

My body forced me to listen and finally take the rest I needed. But, I didn't need to wait till I felt ill to listen.

 

Taking care of yourself is essential because how can you achieve what you want if your body is not well. Rest is Just as important as working on your goals. Remember that.

 

Remind yourself that your worth and value are not tied to your performance.

 

Therefore, you do not need to earn the right to rest.

 

Your body knows all the work you put in, and you deserve to rest despite not being exactly where you want to be.

 

Remember, rest is productivity.

3. DEFINE WHAT SELF CARE LOOKS LIKE FOR YOU

Define what self-care looks like for you, not what you've seen self-care look like for someone else.

What do I mean? I mean, ask yourself these questions.

1. What is my body needing of me right now? Is it sleep, a better diet, or maybe more physical activity?

2. What do I need spiritually? Am I listening to my "intuition" or "the holy spirit"? Am I spending time with God or whatever you practice attuning to your spiritual being?

3. What do I need emotionally? Are you taking the time to shift your mindset, Are you actively allowing yourself to feel and heal, or are you taking your mental health seriously?

4. Is my self-care routine benefiting me, or do I need to switch it up? Is what you're doing now actually benefiting all three of your needs? Or are you just following the trendy aesthetics of self-care?

Self Care is more than aesthetics. It's about listening to your needs. Take the time out to pour into yourself, protecting your peace and giving yourself the time/opportunity to feel whole.

Self Care is about actively listening to your needs and knowing that this is not something earned but a necessity.

4. SELF-CARE CAN LOOK DIFFERENT AT DIFFERENT POINTS IN YOUR LIFE 

Your self-care routine can evolve. For example, at one point in your life, candles and bubble baths may be something you might incorporate into your routine, and at another point, you may enjoy peaceful walks or meditation in the living room. 

It is important to consistently check in with yourself to analyze what you may need because your needs are constantly evolving.

5. BE THERE FOR YOURSELF LIKE YOU ARE THERE FOR OTHERS

I know you want to be there for others, but what good is it if you can't even be there for yourself. You are busy giving everything to others and never filling your own cup.

I know you've probably heard that self-care can be selfish… And it is, and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

Selfish is defined as devoting to or caring only for oneself. And that is okay! It is necessary to take out time for yourself.

 

It's time to get selfish with you because if you don't, who else will?

 

If there's nothing left to give, you can't help yourself or others.

 

Now it's time to get intentional with your self-care...

 

Self-care is about being proactive and feeding your needs, so you do not get low on energy. It's about recharging you and knowing what's best for you, not what someone told you is best.

 

Self- Care is defined by you; you have the power to choose what it looks like

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